Listening

Listening G Sakamoto

Listening is a practice that takes practice.

In conversations we hear or sometimes we donÕt hear what is being expressed. Words flow into our head, but our thoughts may be somewhere else. We may be thinking about other things or formulating opinions before the completion of a statement. We might be thinking, ÒIÕve heard this before.Ó How often do we finish the sentence of another person? When we do that it may demonstrate deep insight on our part, but sometimes it just ignores the other personÕs thoughts. This can be endearing at times, but it can be a source of misunderstanding and difficulties.

Listening is very personal. I cannot make someone else listen. I can only be aware of how I listen and what I truly listen to. Telling someone to listen more carefully maybe good advice but we can only pay attention to our own mind, a mind that is like a monkey in a tree, jumping from one thing to the next.  To settle that mind and pay attention requires practice.

When something interesting or important takes place we pay attention. Sometimes we are compelled to pay attention. The sound of an approaching siren may demand our attention. If the sound of the siren remains far away, its importance can slip away. If the sound seems to be getting closer, we pay more attention. If we hear the siren outside our house and the rumble of a fire truck just outside our door, our attention is completely focused on the events that accompany the siren. We may be watering the lawn or watching a ball game, but the importance of the circumstances compels us the chose to pay attention. If our home was on fire we would probably not continue to watch a ball game.

What becomes the focus of our attention is a choice that we make. Whether to look out our front door to understand the emergency or to continue to watch a ball game is a choice we make. Although it is conceivable that a person may chose to watch the game until someone bangs on the front door, most would look and see, if not just out of curiosity, what was going on. We chose to pay attention or not.

The practice of listening is a matter of patience and becoming aware of the choices we make as we listen. When I am in a conversation, am I thinking of an exit strategy? Do I look at my watch? Am I making conclusions before hand? If I am truly listening I cannot be distracted or thinking about something else. My focus must be now.

Listening is something we practice everyday. It does not require anything more than our attention. Be patient and attentive, practice listening with your whole being.