Cycles of Birth and Death

by G Sakamoto

As our body ages we become aware of the changes that have taken place. When we are young, we seem to be growing all the time; shirts don't fit, pants are too short, shoes to snug, even our arms and legs sometimes feel too big. The marks in the doorway record our height from year to year. When we're young its exciting to see how we've grown. But as we grow older, and hopefully we grow old, our bodies begin to wear out. Aches and pains, medications to take, the body becoming increasingly fragile. It is difficult not to see and feel life slipping away. We know with our minds that life will eventually end. But we wish life to continue as long as possible, for ourselves and for the people we love.

What we experience varies greatly. Sometimes disease and death can overcome us when we're young, whether with our own death or the death of someone close. Our hopes and dreams shattered by the ending of a life which held so much promise and possibilities. Sometimes death can be sudden, unexpected, the result of an accident or suicide. Whether young or old, life can come to an end through circumstances difficult to understand. The difficulties we experience affect us deeply. An opportunity to hear the Buddhadharma.

In the midst of a crisis, we wish for more time, to live longer, spend more time together, enjoy all the things that are now falling apart. It's a wish that comes from our deepest experience, to wish for happiness for another and ourselves. But a longer life itself may not resolve our dissatisfaction. In the life time of people alive today, the life expectancy of individuals in American has gone for 54 years in 1920 to nearly 78 years in 2006. We've increased the length of life by nearly fifty percent yet we continue to experience difficulties. As in the time of Shakyamui, we still struggle with the effects of the difficulties we experience, not with its cause.

Sometimes we come to the Buddhadharma as we would approach or pick up a tool. Something to use to satisfy a need. If I do this, things will be better, I'll be happier. We base our happiness on fulfilling what we want. We expect the Buddhadharma to provide a means to fix our unhappiness in the same way; by fulfilling what we want.

If our relationship with the Buddhadharma is because of family, an understanding of the the Buddhadharma may be difficult to uncover. All the unrelated ideas and assumptions of ritual, practice, fundamentals of what the dharma conveys that have been passed down, need to be lifted out of how we see in the dharma, rearranged and set back in the context of the core ideas of the dharma. How do you explain to someone who holds a deep belief in cultural values that those values may have little to do with the Buddhadharma. We've come a long way, but sometimes we are more concerned about what we do and not so much about why. What is the correct way to oshoko, not why do we oshoko. What can I do to not hurt, not why do I hurt?

Shakyamuni said there were three things that characterized life; all things change, there is no me and we experience difficulties, but those difficulties can be resolved (Three Marks of the Dharma). I am the result of the causes and conditions that intersect to bring me into existence. There is no me separate from these causes and conditions. Change the causes and conditions, and the I that I manifest changes. Changes are occurring all the time. Changes to the conditions, changes to the resulting me. Dying is an expression of change that in turn is a cause that can affect me. The closer I am to death the more I am affected, the more deeply I feel what is happening, the more deeply I am changed.

The difficulties I experience do not result from death and dying. Death occurs all the time and yet I am not as deeply affected as when someone close to me dies. It is because of the relationship I share with another that I am affected. That relationship continues to change as someone's life comes to an end. To see the relationship that continues to influence my life, even as life comes to an end, is to see and appreciate what I think Shakyamuni was describing. Not a static relationship but one that continues to deepen over time. That continues to influence and shape how I engage the world. If I am mindful the importance of that other's life is appreciated as an changing, ongoing, influence of my life, a part of the infinite causes and conditions that bring me into being.

With gratitude I am with those whose lives are coming to an end. With gratitude I am mindful of the influences their lives have in mine.